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sugar'n'spice
Tuesday, January 7, 2003
8:00 p.m.
So my recreated lost entry. No new fic, beceause of excessive amounts of work over break as well as a forced hiatus induced by my crippled right hand. Presently, it is at about 85%, but I have discovered I need to build up stamina again, so prolly no fic writing for a long while. Hopefully, I will finish stuff, but don't hold yer breath.
I think I also finally figured out what bothers me about Tolkien and lotr slash fic. This is in part inspired by read Cakes and Ale by W. Somerset Maugham. I've read his books. I first tried in junior high school and couldn't get engaged. After I was told by fellow sci-fi/fantasy fans that Tolkien was quintessential fantasy and I was not a tr00 g33k if I did not read him. So I stormed through a few of his books finally. I liked the Hobbit well enough and the Silmarillion of course appealled to my great love of mythology. But the Lord of the Rings triology left me cold.
At first, it was the lack of women that struck me. I know there are women in the books, but the only ones I ever recollected were the pale, background elven ladies or
But then take Maugham, yet another repressed and angsty ghei British man. He writes as a young man, in the first person, kissing the bare white bosom of a woman. I almost have a fit. It was so wrong, I was squicked. o_o At first it made me reconsider my distaste of Tolkien and that I was being unfair in ranting about the lack of women and sex. Maugham does have both women and sex in his books. And the sex, the love, it's twisted no matter who is the target, straight, ghei, male, female, either, none or all. That, and Maugham is wicked character-driven, so he paints a picture of a person, and then obsesses on their interaction, which is more what I seek out in a story anyways. I suppose I come to the conclusion that I don't want the smooching of bare, heaving bosoms, but perhaps better with some subtle sexual interaction? The whole not bathing and promising platonic male buddy following to the gates of death are not moving me so much. The Tolkien slash leaves me cold, cos there isn't much to work with, tho I think the man needs to come out and solve some of those unconscious desires, tho I would be so amused by Maugham slash. ^_~
Man, this entry isn't nearly good as the one I lost. -_-
I may just chuck them all out to spite you now, Eve. XD
Fanfic quiz. Gacked from someone, am sure. Is not quite fandom quiz, cos I've been in fandoms where I wrote not a lick of fic ever. XD~
1. The first story I EVER posted/read was: (if you don't remember, describe story)
2. The fandom for that was... (if you're too ashamed to admit it, lie!)
3. And this was actually back in...
4. My favorite genre to write is:
5. My favorite genre to read is:
6. My TOP FIVE or VERY favorite fan-author(s) is/are:
7. My favorite published-author(s) is/are:
8. I can often be found haunting...
9. My current passion is:
10. A fandom I kind of miss, and still have a few unexorcised ghosts for is:
11. My strangest, most unexpected fandom turn was:
12. Something I wish I could write for, but never did/never will was:
13. I'm happily (or unhappily) anticipating being ambushed at some point by:
14. A secret fandom urge I've never confessed is:
15. I am most proud of (reading/writing/being involved with) this particular fandom aspect:
Wow, I've managed to establish how utterly odd I am.
In the long honoured tradition of fic writing in Jae-land, exam times=writing fic. This year, finals will be particularly wretched for a number of gibber-inducing reasons. And yet, I still wrote fic. Why am I so weak? -_-
I would share it, but it is presently too rough for public persual and what is palatable, I am too lazy to html. So mere snippets for now. The fifth chapter of Fancy. (Hopefully the second to LAST chapter of Fancy. I thought about it and realised that the chapter after next would be the denoument, but I can't conceive of it being long enough to actually be a chapter. However, epilogue is not quite the right charcterisation for it either, so.)
A Young Man's Fancy- A Blossom, Spied Snippets
Sakura was doing the right thing. She felt the rightness of Eriol and Tomoyo in her heart. But this was beyond Sakura. She only knew how to believe, how to create through the sheer power of her conviction. It was Tomoyo, always been behind her, nudging people with a smile or a gently phrased suggestion. She shook her head. And now it was Sakura’s turn to support her friend and she balked at helping her find true happiness? She would not fail her friend in her hour of need! Sakura shook her fists in the air. Syaoran turned from the window and smiled at her, easing his fingers through hers. Yukito winked at her. Sakura nodded back. Yes, she was doing the right thing.
....
“Good evening, Tomoyo-chan. Come in, come in. You look so pretty in pink! I can’t believe you’re wasting such a lovely dress on Eriol,” Nakuru said, chirping happily over Tomoyo.
“Let her breathe, Nakuru. She’s not your plaything. And please don’t ask her to make the same dress except in that wretched shade of red you like with more frills and lace and ribbons and what not,” Spinel added, holding his paws out for Tomoyo’s jacket.
Tomoyo gave her jacket to Spinel and turned to Nakuru. “Thank you, Nakuru-san, Spinel-san. And I would be more than happy to make a dress for Nakuru-san. I don’t know if I could make something nicer than Hiiragzawa-kun, but I would do my best.”
Nakuru gave a loud sniff in Spinel’s direction before smiling at Tomoyo. “Tomoyo-chan, Eriol only wishes he were your best. And my favorite color is vermillion because it accentuates my eyes.”
“You have red eyes because you’re a rabid monkey,” Spinel retorted.
Nakuru stuck her tongue out at Spinel.
Tomoyo hid a smile behind her hand as she flicked the switch on her phone. A tiny image of Nakuru and Spinel popped up. She shut the phone and bit down a giggle. They were still arguing.
“How would you like it if I tore up all your dresses and threw out all your makeup?” Spinel asked.
“I wouldn’t, but those books were so old and smelly. They were giving me a headache, Suppi. I absolutely had to get rid of them,” Nakuru said while she jumped up and down to catch Spinel’s tail.
....
Eriol looked down at her. At this moment, he understood Tomoyo’s need for pictures. His memory was perfect. Years from now, if he closed his eyes, he would remember the way her curls fell across her shoulders, her perfect nose, the curve of her mouth, the alluring shadows created by her neckline. But the picture would be proof that she had really been standing there and that he had indeed drooled over her like the hormonal teenager he was. Too many of his memories weren’t really his. And even pictures could be fabricated, he supposed. Besides, pictures made much better locker decorations than memories.
I was sieged with the urge to write the CCS/AL this morning. As I thought about Fancy, I imagined bits of the CCS/AL in my head. Now though, I'm worried about characterisation, cos I have Tomoyo doing things that just make no sense in my mind, things she'd never ever do. But I'll worry about that later, you know, when I actually start writing it. Conceit needs rehauling and as always, I grapple with whether or not I should even bother finishing it. I admit this is in part because I question my motives for writing it in the first place. There isn't anything wrong with writing for fangrrl motives. Heck, if I weren't a fangrrl, I wouldn't be writing fanfic AT ALL. (Draco: You say this like it's a bad thing? Jae: XD) But I don't know if I can reconcile Conceit with how I think things ought to be, so I may just chuck it all. Or rework the fic from square one. Which, in Jae lingo, is almost like chucking it. XD~ Blame this all on harpy. She's sent me into a tizzy over my characterisation, and I feel completely inadequate. XDXD (New bits of mal fils up, btw.) But we'll see. Am bored of Fancy now, so off to hibernate in the library.
Saturday, December 14, 2002
10:09 a.m.
First fanfic I read was prolly something from the Robert Jordan fandom. (Why the events in HP fandom suprise-th me not, btw. The RJ fandom always seemed to be filled more with people who RPed or nit-picked. The fanfic came from sheer boredom of waiting, write faster, damn author! Long spaces of time make for strange mutations. I had entered the fandom just at the point where he had stopped spewing out books at a steady rate. Deadly.) It was either backstory fic or what you thought the next book would be fic. Either way, it never impressed me much.
The first fanfic I wrote was Fancy. I had spend months mired in Eriol/Tomoyo wub and this idea seized me, inspite of my best intentions. I had promised myself I would never write fic, cos I know how undisciplined I am. I'd write a chapter and never finish it. So honestly, I'm doing pretty good here, folks.
Robert Jordan- read
CCS- written
Early 1997 for Robert Jordan and March 2001 for CCS (spring fic inspired by spring, novel concept)
Silly humour with hints of romance.
I tend to prefer silly humour with hints of romance but will read anything, well written or not. In spite of my belief that you need to read good works (vs. bad works) to improve your writing, I am a reading junkie, so will read anything.
Hmm. I don't think I have five v. favourite authors. I'll just plead the Fifth and leave it at that.
Hmm, including but not limited to: (all these FOIA requests are starting to affect the way I think XD) Jane Austen, Diana Wynne Jones, A.S. Byatt, Connie Willis, Giovanni Machiavelli, W. Somerset Maugham, William Faulkner, Sylvia Plath, Dylan Thomas, Patricia McKillip, Lois M. Bujold, Kate Ross, Patricia Wrede, Caroline Stevermer, L. M. Montgomery, Neil Gaiman
Butterick? Er, if fic related, various fic blogs, HP fandom ljs and ff.net. (I told you, I have a high tolerance for infliction of bad fic. ^_~)
Ron/Hermione. I had always liked the pairing, but then Rupert and Emma (the movie actors) came abounding with their snark and their sniping and theirwubissohateful~! *_* The fic is out there, but no one's really quite snarking at my desired level. I may have to fic it. >_<
I would say CCS, but I still consider myself firmly in CCS fandom, even if everyone else has abanonded me. Maybe HP, but I was never IN HP fandom, so. ^_~
Harry Potter. Was not bowled over by the books and still think most of the fic in the fandom is overrated and that the good stuff is generally overlooked and/or undervalued. I also think that many of the authors are forced into weird, random niches. Specialisation? Aroo?
Few regrets, baby. I fic for what I like. Tho I still have a few crossovers lurking in my head, it's cos of writer's block and laziness.
DWJ. I still want to write my Eriol/Tomoyo HMC crossover, but dread the thought of DWJ fic. Her satire/critique is far subtler than JKR's, so there is no need to expand on intertextual analysis cos I always have the feeling that DWJ has got a manuscript my height splaining the inner meaning. Besides which, DWJ, being the darling that she is, knows of and approves of fanfic. (To a degree, naturally. She's got some artistic integrity or summat like that. XD) Whereas JKR is a capitalistic snit (and affliated with Warner Bros who is likely worse) so the reactionary in me would INSIST upon writing fic. Ha. Reverse psychology is my worst enemy. Known enemy too, at that. XD Bet that was way more than any y'all wanted to know.
Infiltrate the HP fandom and make them all weep at my D/G (and now R/H) skillz. I have confessed this idea to certain people, but never "publically". I won't do it, only because HP fandom is a special medium that would not mix well with me. Think oil and water. That, and the thought of fanbase pressure would drive me insane and insure no fic ever, so. ^_~
My actually finished fic, cos I can never finish anything with self-imposed deadlines.
Sunday, December 8, 2002
12:10 p.m.